- wake up: exhausted
- 12 pm: exhausted
- 3 pm: fucking exhausted
- 5 pm: really fucking exhausted
- 7 pm: about to pass out
- bed time: the energy of 5 million condensed suns
the guy on the radio just said “gas prices aren’t so bad if you consider you’re really buying liquid explosive dinosaurs” and my perspective on life is forever changed
- Drunk Drew: Kiss me.
- Me: I will in the morning.
- Drunk Drew: My face will be gone in the morning.
- Drew: Myself. Mice....elf...
- Me: *picks up vitamin water*
- Drew: I hear Snoop Dogg invented that... And I'm probably wrong.
- Drew: "Slut" sounds like a kind of lizard.
- Facebook: Lying to people you know.
- Tumblr: Being honest with complete strangers.
its fucked up how planes can fly without flapping their wings
Last night I went to Starbucks and when the guy finished my drink, he bent down and wispered, “Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle.” I just smiled and took my drink, and while I was leaving I heard the other worker saying: “WOULD YOU STOP TELLING PEOPLE THAT, NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR INSPIRATIONAL SHIT!” and the guy responded with, “Gurl, there is no way in hell I am letting you dull my sparkle.”
Perhaps you could fill a warehouse
with the things I do not know
but one thing I am certain of
is that you are an asshole
if you don’t invite me
to that warehouse